As a young girl in a predominantly African American Catholic School I struggled with authority. I was never disrespectful I just never liked being told what to do. I have always been a person that wanted to just be given the assignment. Don’t look over my shoulder or tell me you gotta do it this way, I had it covered. Some may say I was a rebel but I just called it being an independent learner.
I was about 11 years old when I had to take a trip to the principal’s office. Most likely I was talking too much in class. I sat in front of Ms. Finn’s desk and she began to talk, what I remember most about this conversation was “You will never amount to anything.” At the time as it sunk in, my feelings were hurt that an adult would say something so mean to me. However, being a heavier girl it wasn’t the first time that rude words had been spewed at me fat, ugly, big girl along with a host of other words had been projected but I had already created a shield for those words, they bounced off and I kept on moving. This statement had stunned me for a while though. What if I let what she said affect me? What if I would have taken this to heart and said well maybe she is right?
Fast forward years later I was working at a long term care facility as an Occupational Therapist. I walked in to a room to evaluate a patient. The patient was my grammar school principal Ms. Finn. Yes!! The one who said, ” I would never amount to anything!” On that day all I could do was think of how life goes full circle sometimes. The lessons that I took from this was first be careful how you treat other people because you never know who you may need in life and second what if I had let those hurtful words stunt my growth. Instead it propelled me forward. I chose to NEVER let what someone said about me affect how I felt about myself. It was an eye opening experience at the time but it taught me to be sure about myself to have the confidence to keep thinking highly of myself and not let what anyone else says to or about me determine my success.
If I could count how many times someone has called me fat this fat that, big girl this big girl that, or said you can’t do this or you can’t do that. I wake up and look in the mirror everyday I know how my body appears it doesn’t hurt me for you to say it because I see it everyday. It just proves your ignorance when there is a need to attempt to hurt someone else’s feelings.
We have to think more of ourselves and speak life over ourselves. For every fat someone may say, I can say to myself FAT AND FINE. For every big girl somebody else may say, I can say BIG GIRL IT’S MY WORLD. For every you cant do this, or you can’t do that, I KNOW I CAN SHOW YOU BETTER THAN I CAN TELL YOU. Let’s do the work to speak to ourselves and have the confidence to conquer our dreams no matter the size of our bodies, the color of our skin or what features we have or don’t have …It’s in your hand you have the power!!
Toot your own horn..or rather tap your own Belle!!!!